Tom Brady, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Patriot’s flag in the window. “this house is yours for eternity, Tom,” said God. “This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here.” Tom felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up to the porch he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a Purple & Black sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Ravens logo flag, and in every window, a Ravens towel.
Tom looked at God and said, “God, I’m not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even won a few Super bowls.”
God said, “So what’s your point Tom?”
“Well, why does Ray Lewis get a better house than me?”
God chuckled, and said, “Tom, that’s not Ray’s house, it’s mine.”
Here’s what I’ve gathered in the past week from the national media: Baltimore is a terrible place to live, Joe Flacco completely sucks at playing quarterback in the NFL, and the Ravens have no chance to beat the Patriots. For one thing, I love living in Baltimore and, contrary to popular belief, I don’t have to duck to avoid being hit by stray bullets every five minutes. Another thing - Joe Flacco doesn’t have the stats of Drew Brees or the arm of Aaron Rodgers. But where are Drew Brees’ stats? Closed until next season. And Aaron Rodgers’ arm is resting on the armrest of his sofa while he watches the championship games on his plasma tv (sorry, Aaron). As for the Ravens having no chance of beating the Patriots… let’s just take a break from the Ravens-hate field day and look at a few facts, shall we? :
I’ve heard absolutely nothing but people/media trashing my team this week, so thanks for this.